Continue reading »]]> One of the most fascinating concepts about communication is that we each have our own code. Despite speaking a common language, we encode and decode messages based on our personality type, emotions, stress levels, priorities, environment, industry jargon and common experiences.

If you encode or decode messages based solely from your perspective without considering the needs of different personality types and other factors in your audience, you are likely headed for a string of misunderstandings. For instance, consider this scenario that plays out following a 45-minute meeting between a supervisor and one of his managers that was interrupted by an emergency call for the supervisor.

The manager went back to his desk and 15 minutes later received this one-line email from the supervisor: “Call me tomorrow so we can get past this problem and tackle other pressing issues.”

Communicating a simple message isn’t simple 

In a perfect world, we would all say what we want, how we want and everyone would be on board with the content and tone of our messages. But, the world that we live in shows that there’s a good chance a misunderstanding and conflict could happen as a result of that email. Here’s what I mean:

The supervisor — a practical, solution-oriented leader who becomes impatient with lingering issues and remains focused on solving problems and checking items off a neatly organized project list.

The manager — an idealistic, loyal manager who supports company initiatives while constantly looking for “teaching moments” to mentor junior managers.

Supervisor’s intended message with the email — solve the current problem and end the discussion at all levels because it distracts a very capable and valuable team from reaching the company’s profitability goals and strategic growth milestones.

Manager’s interpretation of the message — The boss doesn’t care about people and uses a harsh tone while ignoring the fact that the team has already brainstormed three alternatives to solving this problem.

Let’s look at how both people viewed this message from the perspectives of content and tone:

1. Content

- The supervisor kept the message short, direct and solution-focused

- The manager interpreted the short message as lacking concern for the brainstorming work that was already done and for the growth of the team members

2. Tone

- The supervisor thinks, speaks and writes in a matter-of-fact tone, with a limited number of words, which was reflected in the email

- The manager thinks, speaks and writes in a conversational tone, with descriptive words and phrases, and viewed the message as shutting down dialogue which is important to him

Greater self awareness leads to greater understanding in conversations 

Granted, anything we say can be taken out of context. I’m not saying that we should all walk around thinking that someone will always get the wrong idea from an email or conversation. However, when you teach yourself to become more aware of your natural tendencies for (1) directing your energy towards yourself or towards others, (2) gathering information, (3) making decisions and (4) relating to others, you will have cracked your own communication code.

Knowing your code in depth means you can create connections instead of misunderstandings because you will have developed the skill to step back from the situation and view it objectively. This action of stepping back gives you the time to check your biases and filters to see if you’re missing the sender’s intent of the message or if you are conveying a point with yourself in mind instead of the audience.

You can’t change how someone else communicates. But you can control how you interpret a message and you can influence others to adjust how they interact with you if they see positive results for themselves.

Continue reading »]]> Now that you’re a month into your new year’s resolutions, how are you doing on them? Some might have fallen off the list while others are gaining momentum.

As you look for ways to build on your success, consider setting aside several hours over the next few weeks to learn more about how you can continue motivating yourself to achieve your goals.

One tool that will help you in that learning process is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator — MBTI. The mother-daughter team of Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers created the MBTI as a way to bring Carl Jung’s theory on personality type to the average person. By using this tool, you can unlock an unlimited number of doors to discover how you can improve your productivity and relationships at work and at home.

MBTI and type theory
Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, based his type theory on the concept that each person is born with their own preferences for the two primary mental activities: (1) collecting information (2) making decisions.

The MBTI process includes completing a questionnaire that can be taken online or in written form, along with having a discussion with a certified MBTI instructor to explain the results and definitions of each personality type so that you can choose your best-fit type. However, the responses and discussions are only the beginning of the self-awareness process.

The best mindset for an MBTI session

Going into an MBTI session, have these three points in mind so that you will get the best results:

Before
1. View the MBTI as a mirror – We all have an image of who we want to become and we model ourselves after people with those qualities. When you respond to the questionnaire, answer as the individual you are now and not as the person you would like to become.

If you respond as your ideal person then you are not being fair to yourself because the instrument is designed to provide an objective reflection — not a subjective wish.

During
2. Listen to your inner voice - You will find yourself working hard at keeping the voices of other people throughout your life out of your mind when you are responding to the questions or discussing the meaning of the various personality types.

For example, co-workers might see you networking at parties or at conferences and have complimented you on those social skills. However, inside you might be the type of person who dreads going to those events but you force yourself to do it because your job requires that kind of interaction. While people may think your social and networking skills come naturally to you, maybe the truth is that you’ve worked hard at mastering those skills, which no one else but you would know.

Therefore, when responding to the questionnaire or when you are choosing your best-fit type, listen to your inner voice and not the image that people may have of you.

After

3. Look for everyday examples of all types – Answering the questionnaire, discussing the definitions of each type and choosing your best-fit type is only the start of your journey. You now have the knowledge to listen closer to the words that people use, to observe their gestures with more interest and to find better ways to form stronger relationships.

Good luck and enjoy the new insights that you will quickly gain about yourself and others.

Continue reading »]]> Does the meal or snack before your presentation make a difference in how you look and sound? Absolutely. You want your voice to be strong, your mind to be alert and your presence to be confident when you give your speech.

It’s easy to overlook nutrition as an important part of your speech because the slides, pitch books  and makeup of the audience take precedence. However, if you believe that you are what you eat, then you will also see that your pre-speech meal will either fill you with positive energy or funnel it away.

Go for the complex carbs

In her article, Foods that reduce speech anxiety, Cindy Ellen Hill references several scientific sources to explain the chemistry of foods that will boost your ability to deliver home-run presentations.

For instance, she notes that you should look for complex carbohydrates such as whole wheat bread or brown rice as part of your pre-speech meal. Those types of carbs break down slowly and leave you feeling full longer.

Stick with lean protein

Hill also says that while protein can increase your energy and concentration level, your best bet is to avoid the heavy steak in favor of the lean protein in fish or soy products. The lean protein will stabilize your insulin levels and strengthen your mental focus. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables, as they provide the crunch that you want and eliminate the sugar craving that tends to follow feelings of anxiety.

In the article, Eating for special occasions: Foods to eat for your best performance, Charles Platkin explains the lean protein effect in further detail. He indicates that lean protein triggers your brain to improve mental alertness by producing two chemicals: norepinephrine and dopamine, both made from tyrosine.

In addition, he quotes Judith Wurtman, PhD, a research scientist at MIT and coauthor of The Serotonin Power Diet: Use Your Brain’s Natural Chemistry to Cut Cravings, Curb Emotional Overeating, and Lose Weight (Rodale, 2007) in discussing why speakers should eat the lean proteins early in the day:

Ordinarily we eat enough protein so this is not a problem, but after an overnight fast, not eating any protein for many hours (until dinner, for example) could limit the synthesis of these neurotransmitters.

Stay away from sugar and caffeine

Finally, you should avoid caffeine and sugar consumption before you speak in order to decrease your anxiety and control your energy. You want to feel those butterflies in your stomach, which is normal and indicative that you have the right amount of adrenaline to give you that spark and enthusiasm to inspire the audience. The sugar and caffeine bring on extra anxiety that is difficult to control and counterproductive for your speech.

What you eat before you speak will play a major role in your confidence and presentation success. Good luck and Bon Appétit!

Continue reading »]]> Productive meetings inspire us. Whether you are brainstorming sales strategies or solving a client’s problem, the best meetings seemingly come alive.

Think back to your last really productive meeting. Everyone contributed their energy and knowledge to achieve a common goal. In the same way that each person brought their unique contributions to meetings, agendas also assume personalities. You can use the seven different personalities of an agenda listed below to make your meetings dynamic and beneficial to everyone:

1. Traffic cop – direct conversations

Use the agenda to immediately get the conversation focused on the reasons for calling the meeting. As people start to drift onto other subjects, remind everyone about the purpose of this meeting and then write down the other issues so they can be covered at another time.

2. Fire fighter – handle new emergencies

No doubt you’ve gone into meetings having to switch from the original purpose to another one that popped up ten minutes ago. This describes the perfect scenario for using the agenda to table the original topic for another time, and focus on addressing the current issue. Depending on the severity of the issue, you still might have time to cover the original topic after resolving the new emergency.

3. Personal trainer – focus on details

For those folks who do not like working out, they hire personal trainers — to motivate them to go to the workout and then go through the proper warm up, exercise and cool down phases. Writing an agenda will ensure that you focus on the details going into the meeting, and prepare the other attendees to make important contributions.

4. Interior designer – create appropriate setting

Create the right environment to promote the results that you want. If you can choose the venue, decide if your needs are best met in a  conference room with glass doors, in someone’s office or at an offsite location. Let’s say you can’t control where you have the meeting or the physical setup of the table and chairs. You do control the presence of flip charts, AV equipment and materials to meet your goals.

5. Chief of staff – prioritize issues

By definition, you can’t focus on 23 different items. Look and listen to the presidential candidates and you will hear just a few common themes. The best example of driving home a point came with the phrase, “It’s the economy, stupid” to elect Bill Clinton. Use your agenda to cover only the most urgent points, saving the others for a different time and place.

6. Graphic designer – provide impactful visuals

Ho-hum PowerPoint slides with eye-chart bullet points and razor thin slices in pie charts can put insomniacs to sleep. Create your visuals based on how the attendees will see them and use them. Save the deep dive into details for the handouts because people can write on them and study them. People remember stories. The purpose of a visual is to provide a hook to recall your points with ease.

7. Reporter – inform others

Sending out your agenda before the meeting gives other attendees the time and opportunity to prepare and deliver their ideas in a productive manner. No one likes to be caught off guard and everyone wants to look good. The more details you can provide the attendees on the goals and expectations for the meeting, the better results you will see once it begins.

Continue reading »]]> According to Dr. Donald E. Wetmore of the Productivity Institute, 90% of those who join health and fitness clubs will stop going within the first 90 days. Was going to the gym one of your new year’s resolutions?

Let limits guide you

Here’s a speaking and writing resolution that you can keep. I call it the Rule of 333, which will give you greater impact in conveying your information. The rule is based on applying limits, such as keeping:

• emails to 300 words
• voicemails to 30 seconds
• pitches to 3 minutes

How you will benefit from setting limits

You’ll find that simply by applying limits to whatever you need to communicate, you create a domino effect that chisels your data into meaningful chunks of information. For instance, you will start converting passive verbs to active verbs to save words and strengthen your point, while also adding white space and pauses to make your document or speech easier for the audience to absorb your ideas.

If you write or speak without limits in mind you will drift into a stream of consciousness, similar to that college professor from freshman English pacing back and forth wearing a corduroy jacket with suede elbow patches, yakking in monotone about… something.

However, when you give yourself a hard stop at a reasonable point, you force yourself to:

• get to the purpose quickly and remove fluff content
• cut the adjectives and adverbs because they do not add value
• avoid adding redundant data which cannibalizes your main point

I stick with a 500 word limit for my blog posts. Some articles exceed that number, which I can accept once in a while. I’m confident that you’re reading this blog to learn a quick tip that you can use now. Providing a quick tip means that I have to deliver my message in a brief, entertaining and informative manner.

When you’re speaking or writing, you’re hosting an information party. People will come back to your party if you give them what they want, without force feeding or boring them.

Invite the audience to learn more

In addition, setting limits to your writing or speaking invites the audience to ask for more information on their terms. Too often we shove our research down the throats of our audience simply because we feel compelled to share that information since we spent so much time and effort finding it — and showing it off via fascinating PowerPoint slides.

As consumers of information, we sign up for the newsletters, RSS feeds and tweets that interest us. When you craft your message in a clear and concise manner, you encourage your audience to turn to you as a trusted resource. Once you earn someone’s trust and desire to receive more information, then you can continue to share in a moderate fashion to keep them coming back to you.

Good luck and let me know how this rule is working for you.

Continue reading »]]> Would you leave the vault door to your bank open? Of course not. Yet so often, very intelligent people give away their knowledge and expertise in meetings without getting anything in return.

In essence, they open their vault doors and never close them, leaving themselves bankrupt from an emotional, psychological and productivity standpoint.

Participating in a meeting means you’re investing your time, which is money. You need a return on that investment, otherwise you can’t afford to keep doing it.

When you don’t get that ROI, you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut while being passed by people saying, “Wow, what a great meeting. I feel so much better now that we got that issue clarified.”

The four visualizations listed below will put you in the right mindset to get what you need from each meeting. However, this technique works the best when you use it before, not during, your meetings.

Once you’re in the meeting the pace is moving so fast that you can’t afford the time to think about what you really need.

1. Set Your Mind Like A Watch

The first visualization is to picture your mind as a watch. We set our watches so that we can accurately tell time, and we need to set our minds before going into meetings so that we will have the conscious and subconscious drive to achieve our goals.

2. Fill In Your Blank, Signed Check

Instead of simply giving away your knowledge and experience, make sure that you receive the information that you need in a give-and-take manner. Picture laying a blank check with your signature in the middle of the table at the start of your meeting. If you do not reach your goal, then another person will fill in the amount. But when you have your information, then you decide how to write the check.

3. Running For The Closing Airplane Door

Isn’t it amazing how quickly you can sprint through an airport with your suitcase and briefcase when you hear, “This is the final boarding call for flight 623 to Los Angeles. Final call.” Now internalize that feeling of urgency and focus to use in making sure that you receive the answers or ideas you need from the meeting.

4. Catching A Cab On A Saturday Night In Midtown

The only way that you will catch a cab on a Saturday night at 9:00 in midtown Manhattan is to be assertive in waving your hand and telepathically summoning a taxi.

You might even have to dash across the street a block up, but the point is that you must go out and get that cab — nothing will come to you with ease. Again, channel that energy and drive to know what you need before the meeting so you end up with the required information.

Continue reading »]]> “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift which is why they call it the present,” Hall of Fame player and coach Mike Ditka said recently on ESPN’s NFL Countdown Show.

The original quote came from 19th century author and historian Alice Morse Earle, who never watched a down of pro football. Still, Ditka thought enough of her words to use them to describe the mindset that each player must have in order to achieve success in the league.

Charismatic speakers apply that same mantra of being fully present to influence their audiences.

Avoiding speaker’s regret

Every person in an audience wants one thing from the speaker: talk directly to me. When a speaker is not fully present with the audience, that connection does not happen and everyone becomes frustrated. The audience feels slighted and like they’ve wasted their time while the speaker regrets forgetting an important point or going too quickly through a slide.

The best way to minimize speaker’s regret is to practice being present in every speech or pitch that you give. The practice begins before you enter the conference room by clearing your head of anything not related to your presentation. This activity is difficult but rewarding for everyone when it’s done correctly.

Delivering your best shot

Your audience deserves 100% of your attention, meaning you take away from your own power as a speaker if you’re going through slides while also thinking about the 102 emails in your inbox or responding to a client’s voicemail.

Speakers who are not present tell meandering stories without a point, usually with a monotone voice. They do not look confident and their gestures do not come across in a natural manner. All of these non-verbal cues mix with the content on the visuals and what the speaker says to create a lot of confusion with the audience due to the lack of a consistent, authentic message.

Giving and receiving presence

Just like we exchange gifts during the holidays, we also exchange our presence or complete attention with the audience during a presentation. Granted, we are naturally wired to think about multiple thoughts and analyze facts while we speak.

However, simply because you can consider several ideas about subjects B,C and D while you’re talking about topic A, or you’re used to doing it, does not mean that activity is productive. So the next time you walk into a conference room to deliver your presentation, give the audience your full presence, which is the best gift they can receive.

Continue reading »]]> Super agent Scott Boras created a 73-page binder for his free-agent client, Prince Fielder. As Jerry Crasnick of ESPN.com writes, “The information within is destined to make any team believe that it’s getting a bargain regardless of how much money it spends.”

Who Reads A 73-Page Pitch Book?
A lot of general managers wanting to sign Mr. Fielder will read this book from cover to cover. So who am I to argue with the success of Mr. Boras who consistently signs mega deals for star athletes like Alex Rodriguez and Carlos Pena? Besides, baseball is a game made for people who love statistics.

Guy Kawasaki’s 10/20/30 Rule For Presenting

Granted, my thoughts about writing a lengthy pitch book might change if I’m ever in a position to receive a $200+MM check. Until that point, I believe in the “be brief and brilliant” philosophy of making a pitch. Guy Kawasaki promotes this concept with his 10/20/30 Rule of Presenting:

Be Brief and Brilliant

Always write your material and prepare your talking points with your audience in mind. For those people who want numbers, then give them facts and figures in the context of a compelling story. However, remember that the Library of Congress sits in Washington DC and it should remain there, not take residence in your pitch.

Here are five reasons why you should objectively filter out the nice-to-know data and keep the need-to-know information:

1. Time

If you offer all of your research, you will need a lot of time to read through it during the meeting. The tendency with doing research is that you feel compelled to give all of your data because you spent so much time finding it. Resist that urge to print everything you have learned about a given topic.

Consider creating an appendix if you know that the audience wants a deeper dive into the details on their own time.

2. Content

Each piece of information that you print or say makes the other pieces progressively smaller. Picture a pie chart with one line going through the middle. Then as you offer more information another line will intersect that one, and then more lines cross each other until the slices are too small to see.

The best way to emphasize your points is to avoid creating competition for them with your own research.

3. Conversation

When you present your findings engage the audience in a conversation, not a monologue. Give the audience opportunities to take ownership of your ideas. Chances are that most audiences will interrupt you anyway, so you have to prepare yourself for a give and take session. If you’re set on blazing through your research then you won’t focus on the questions and concerns of your audience.

Think of two or three key questions that your audience will challenge you on relating to your main points.

4. Confusion

You can create an almost carnival type of atmosphere like a fast-talking magician doing a slight-of-hand trick if you speak quickly in order to cover all of your points. Most likely you will end up confusing the audience or yourself, and potentially contradicting yourself in the process if you’re including too much information.

Write a simple sentence for each key point, and then practice what you will say to elaborate on them.

5. Comprehension

People can read faster than you can speak. When you flood your visuals with a lot of text, arrows and numbers, you lose your audience’s attention because they want to figure out what the visuals are showing. Keep your visuals simple, not simplistic.

Always respect the education and experience level of your audience while creating charts, graphs, videos and animation that drives your points home.

Good luck with these tips and let me know how they are working for you.

Continue reading »]]> Are you a recently promoted manager looking for tips on how to make an immediate impact on your team? In addition to having more expected of you from a productivity standpoint, you’re also being observed for your skills in communicating as a leader.

When you show that you know how to build relationships by engaging co-workers, bosses and clients in meaningful conversations, you are moving in the right direction. The first step in communicating as a leader is realizing that your words are sometimes the last thing that people will hear. The first few messages that impact others come from your appearance, voice, posture and gestures.

When people hear that you’re a manager, they immediately see you in a new light. I learned this lesson when I was promoted from a first lieutenant to a captain in the Air Force. Inside I felt like the same person, but on the outside the double bars indicated that I was a leader. My head and heart had to catch up to that reality.

You don’t have to attend a boot camp to start using the military’s leadership communication principles. Just read the list below:

1. Confidence - “Outstanding, Sir!” — This was the standard response that I had to give at the beginning of my training to anyone who asked how my day was going. You can modify the phrase to match your personality and you won’t have to bark it out like I did.

The technique works to instill confidence in yourself and others that you can handle anything, regardless of how you feel inside.

2. Appearance - Polished shoes, a starched shirt and empty pockets without keys or change to jingle demonstrates attention to detail and the desire to look like a leader.

Are there grunge, jeans and t-shirt billionaires walking around today? Of course. However, they’ve already made their money and set their own rules. if you’re like most people in corporate America, this appearance guideline will serve you well.

3. Respect – We always had to stand at attention anytime a senior officer walked into the room. This requirement to respect the rank regardless of how you feel about the individual keeps you focused on solving problems and building relationships, not thinking about the personalities in the office.

You can never go wrong with consistently showing respect to others, especially those who are senior to you. However, respect does not mean agreement. In fact, you are expected to disagree and state your unique perspective in an articulate manner.

4. Preparation – When we left our dorm rooms for classes, we could not return in case we forgot something. You didn’t want to be that person who sat in class without their homework or notes because they did not pay attention to what they needed to bring.

Create a checklist for every meeting — in and out of the office — so that the day before you can calmly gather your pitch books, laptop, jump drive, AV equipment, directions, and anything else that you will need. Forgetting one minor thing on the way to your meeting can stay in your mind, disrupt your thought process and destroy your credibility for a presentation that you’ve worked days and nights to create.

5. Awareness  – When a person of higher rank would pass me in the hall, I would have to stop and salute. The few times I forgot to salute, I was reminded in a very loud, candid manner by the senior officer. I had to constantly be aware of who was around me and what the situation required.

I’m not suggesting that you stop and salute people in your hallways like an officer trainee (OT as we were called). Rather I am suggesting that you condition yourself to remain present and focused on what’s happening around you so that you can respond from a position of power rather than weakness.

6. Purpose – We had to march everywhere we went for the first half of officer training and still move with purpose in the second half.

When you walk, talk and act with purpose, you gain confidence in yourself and your ability to lead. Even if you make a mistake, you correct it with purpose and always move forward.

Continue reading »]]> What would you do with $254 million? Take out the taxes, the financial planning fees, the calls from newly minted relatives, and you would still have a nice chunk of change.

Winning the lottery simply requires you to buy a $1 ticket and start your WWH (Wishing, Wanting & Hoping) plan.

Whether the three Greenwich wealth managers or their client actually won the recent Powerball jackpot doesn’t matter.

The point is that the WWH plan for winning the lottery hinges on chance.

Replace chance with control

Are you using WWH for your professional development plan? What steps are you taking to improve a specific skill set and remove the chance factor from the equation of moving forward in your career?

For instance, let’s assume that you would like to become a more confident public speaker. Following a WWH plan would leave you:

• wishing that you could articulate your points like person X
• wanting to command the attention of the room like person Y
• hoping for a chance to present your project at meeting Z

Granted, you will always have factors out of your control regardless of your skill set. For instance, a junior co-worker could get the promotion that you’ve been eyeing because of internal politics, or your boss could disregard your contribution on a report sent to the executive committee.

However, you do control your confidence, knowledge, happiness — and to a certain extent your job progression — by developing interpersonal and other job-related skills.

Start the skill development process

Defining the skill that you would like to develop is the most important step in the process. Use the SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time bound) system if that’s helpful for you. Remember that you will have lapses in your progress and you need to be patient with yourself.

After defining your goal, here are three tools that you can use to develop your talent and create a new, productive habit:

1. Clock with an alarm

Schedule five or ten minutes throughout the day or week to practice a new skill by yourself. Sticking with the public speaking example, one day you could rehearse delivering a presentation and another day you could practice saying your opening comments for a challenging meeting.

2. Calendar

Write the specific practice task for a given day on your calendar. For instance, instead of writing become a better public speaker on your Dec 1 calendar, you would write practice delivering intro and first three slides of ABC Presentation.

This daily task strategy came from my marathon training days in which I followed Hal Higdon’s running and conditioning calendar. I completed five marathons because I was physically prepared to tackle the 26.2 miles in each race thanks to the daily regimen that was listed for me. Higdon’s calendar dictated what I would do each day, including rest, so I could just do it (as Nike says) instead of thinking about it or avoiding it.

3. Pen and paper

Record your progress, both the successes and failures. I looked at my marathon training in black and white terms — either I completed that day’s running/workout assignment or I didn’t.

The same grading concept applies in practicing public speaking and doing it during a meeting or presentation. If the terms success and failure are too strong, then use a check mark or an X to signify the same concept.

You will learn so much about yourself in the skill development process if you’re objective. No one can take that experience away from you and you will know that you’re getting stronger everyday.

Good luck and let me know how these strategies are working for you.